"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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