1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize