Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
