She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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