So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I did not marry a roomba.
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