No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
