I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
