I wish I could punch you in the face.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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