You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Do vagina's smell?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize