Your tits are I can't wait for
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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