i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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