why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
