did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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