I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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