Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
