11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have aggressive nipples.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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