Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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