If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
