Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The air taste purple.
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