I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
