More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
