Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
