I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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