Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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