You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
