he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i will never coherently bang her
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
