My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
