its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
