She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
