yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
