You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
