wat bout pragnant strippers??
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
