I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
