As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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