if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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