I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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