No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
