We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
