I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
