I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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