My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
