the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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