it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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