What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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