I cannot find my penis.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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