just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
