If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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