You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize