I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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