I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I need to align my fucking chakras
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
