I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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