I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
