No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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