Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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