Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
