So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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