make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
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Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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