So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
