is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
