so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
