her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
