its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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