I feel like abortions should bother me more
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
