Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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